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shootin' from the hip. livin' the dream.

a nod is as good as a wink to a blind man.

Name:
Jess
Birthdate:
1 April 1986
Website:
External Services:
we don't know what to say to you. can you possibly expect us to sum ourselves up on this little bit of the big, big internet? we hope you have a nice day.

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sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me...bwahaha..XD i love that.


soy atacado por un mono porque huelo como plátanos. por favor me ayuda antes él empieza pasando gas. gracias.


i am being attacked by a monkey because i smell like bananas. please help me before he starts passing gas. thank you.


ehhh...i live near chicago. i've been drawing since i was able to hold a crayon. i write. i work at a stable on the weekends. i don't believe in god. i paint my nails black. i have two alarm clocks in my room so that i have enough time to wake up during the process of turning the both of them off. i like garage sales, antique shops, and resale shops, yaknow, places where you can buy other people's junk. flea markets. i collect lamps that do things. lava lamps, tornado lamps, wave lamps, sparkle lamps, spinny lamps, lightning lamps...you name it. music...i like music. i'm a music connoseur. generally i like rock. vintage rock. any kind of rock, really. plus, a bit of everything else. i don't have a cell phone. could really use one, though. i play girl's fastpitch softball. i'm a pitcher. i dun watch a lot of television, but when i do it's usually adult swim, comedy central, vh1...i'm dying to get fusetv and the n but...haven't got around to it. my boyfriend lives in texas, quite far away from illinois, in case you didn't know. i love him. i'm overly outgoing. i'm not afraid of anything in particular. i'm extremely openminded...i'll try anything once. things rarely shock me...XD i've been exposed to enough things that it takes a LOT to get through to me and hit a chord of surprise. i hate bragging, coming for me or from others. i'm one of those people who meets someone once and remembers them forever. i don't study for school because..i don't have to. i have an excellent memory. i read comic books. japanese or otherwise. i love nearly all the comics that slave labor graphics has put out. i have a dog [dakota], two turtles [turtle and hercules], a parrot [tango] (who we always thought was male, but recently started laying eggs...), two cockatiels [cinnamon and spike] and some...fish. one of them recently jumped out of the tank, flopped under the couch and rotted all over our carpet...



a guy and a girl have just finished having sex and the girl says, "don't you think it was a little presumptuous of you to think you could sleep with me on the first date?" the man responds, "don't you think 'presumptuous' is kind of a big word for a second grader?”




Instant Orgasm/Dandy Eye Candy.



LIVEJOURNAL for LIVESTRONG






      
Marriage is love.


Hunger

Comfort

Hygiene

Energy

Fun

Social

Bladder

Room

Horny

Reach for the lasers with Antic's Sims-ulator!



Straight But Not Narrow








--DISLIKES--chocolate, repetitive noise, confused white boys who think they're black, rap, football, tomatoes, expensive things, bible-thumping jesus freaks, george bush, homophobes, mullets, sluts/whores/cheerleaders, telemarketers, hypocrites, mosquitos, hospitals, funerals, drawn on eyebrows, too much cologne, closed-mindedness, stupid people, dainty sneezes, sexual promiscuity, doctors, mris, scabs, dresses, warts, toothpaste, girls who set their standards too high, girls who obsess over boys who are far out of their reach, people who judge on first impressions, snow, coffee, fat, mirrors, cold toes, litter, ugly cars, pushy people, manipulative people, old people, little kids, moths, fritos, calluses, ebonics, blisters, really bad potty humor that amuses five year olds, people who confuse infatuation with love, people who follow the trends and fads, people who think before they speak, vivisection, little brothers, monkeys, ankle socks, gas prices, pink things, strappy things, skin-baring things, polka music, mornings, winter, dry skin, bad animation, dog slobber, the clothes and toys that little girls have these days (no wonder they're all getting raped and growing up to be whores), meringue, hiccups, backstreet boys (never did like them, i was always more of an nsync girl), cows and pigs, scraping paint, wannabes, shaving, the united states government, beer, vomit, the news, reality shows, gambling, white carpet, flowers, stitches, cherry or grape flavored things, dress codes, scrunchies, apples, and parental tyranny...


--LIKES-- ((below))

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